Smashing Fun!
by Pitty.pat.that
Summary: Will Zelda and Link ever do it? Will Peach betray Ike in the depths of Las Vegas? Will Pit ever get a hangover? Will guys hit on Samus? And will Marth or Wii Fit ever find love? Find all that out in this story! Pit X Samus, Link X Zelda, Peach X Ike, and maybe Marth X Wii Fit? Rated M for language, drinking and sexual themes, if you know what I mean... ;)
1. What the fuck?

**Has a crackpipe in mouth and a robe on sitting next to the fire typing up a fanfic.**

 **Sees you looking at me. "Hey, this is private."**

 **Ike: "As private as your di-"**

 **"Shut up."**

 **Peach: Grabs Ike and pulls him close, "I want you so badly."**

 **Ike: Turns from a douchebag to a good lover. "So do I." Draws her in for a kiss.**

 **Gets up. "Yeah, take that stuff outta my house and back to the mansion! I'm trying to write a fanfic here."**

 **Link and Zelda are making out furiously in the corner.**

 **Ike: "What about them?!"**

 **Peach: "And you shouldn't be smoking in front of children."**

 **"Childre-" Coughs harshly, falling on the ground. (I don't actually smoke.)**

 **Moaning noises possibly coming from Pit and Samus are coming from the other room.**

 **Ike: "And Samus and that angel are going to town in there all over your bed!"**

 **Stops coughing and gets up. "What?!" Stomps to the room, slamming open the door.**

 **Pit and Samus: Hide their bodies under the covers**

 **"What the f-"**

Ike: **Closes that room door.**

 **Ike: "Enjoy the fanfic."**

It was early in the morning in the Smash Manor. And the whole group which consisted of Link, Marth, Pit, Zelda, Samus, Wii Fit, and Ike, were asleep inside their own little lounge. They were all asleep, some sorta party happened last night and everyone just suddenly passed out at the same time.

Link was asleep against the wall with a beer in his hand and Zelda in his lap. Samus was in a beanbag chair sleeping with Pit in her lap who was also asleep. His hand was stuck in a bowl of candy. He didn't drink any a alcohol, but he crashed after a sugar rush. Ike was on the ground, while Peach was ontop of him. They were planing to screw around, but fell asleep. Wii Fit and Marth were surprisingly close to each other. The TV was on a game from the previous night. Nobody turned off the TV.

Pit woke up at the sound of an explosion! Which came from the T.V. Though, he was perfectly fine. As if he wasn't even at the party the night before. His hair was ruffled because Samus's hand was in it. He only had his pants on for some odd reason. And bottles were scattered around him, which contained beer before Samus drank them. Pit rubbed his eyes, He didn't release the candy bowl stuck to his hand. He headed to the restroom, only to see Mario and Luigi in the bathtub also asleep. While Pikchua was in the toilet. "Wow...some party last night..." Pit said to himself before getting Pikchua outta the toilet and drying him.

"Ugh...but my head hurts..." He rubbed his head. "Probably because of that candy..." He walked out the restroom placing Pikchua in Samus's lap, without waking him or her. He grabbed his clothes which were on the floor and slipped into them. Then, after that he left the room.

Only, to come back into the room with a pan and a spoon, banging the spoon against the pan, causing a loud noiss waking everyone one. "C'mon everyone! Rise and Shine everyone!" Pit said marching around the room. "We've got a day of smashing ahead of us." Link groaned before he said that, but chuckled afterwards. "Five more mintues." Peach complained. Pit stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Peach. "...Nah." He continued his loudness.

"Alright! Alright! Enough with the sounds!" Samus said, dashing over and snatching the pot about to bash it into his skull, before Sonic bursted into the room. "Guys! I've got special news!" By this time everyone had gotten up. "Master Hand is picking his 8 favorite smashers to take with him to Las Vegas!" Everyone had random thoughts after this. Samus's was "What the fuck?! Why is this happening?! We just got up, and why inconveniently are there 8 spaces open?! And again, why?!"

Ike just thought about gambling, and Marth about the babes he'd get there. Peach just wanted to make out with Ike non-stop, while Pit...just wondered why the candy bowl was on his hand. Zelda and Wii Fit thought the same thing as Samus, the only few that actually questioned this. "And time is limted! There are already smashers that are trying to go as well! Now i've gotta be one of those 8 people! See ya!" Sonic said, dashing at the speed of sound.

"Now, if you'll guys excuse me, i've gotta put some pants on and head down stairs." Ike said heading for the door. "Wait a second, there has to be something or someone behind this, why is this happening?!" Samus said. "I don't think any of us should actually do this." Wii Fit said. "Oh, don't be such pussies! If any of us go there we gonna be just fine." Link said.

"I mean, whenever you dummies do stupid thinks we end up having to get your asses outta something." Samus groaned. "Oh please, its Las Vegas, what could possibly go wrong?" Link said. "Over 57 gangbangs and armed robbies happen in that place per week." (Author's Note: This isn't true...at least I hope it isn't...) Pit said. The boys glared at him, "Nobody asked for your comment, smartass." Ike hissed. Deep down, nobody really wanted Pit to be in this group, I mean, besides Samus. They just thought he was a pussy. He didn't drink, he didn't cuss, he only did half the things the gang did. So he was considered a pussy.

"Well, he's got a point. Las Vegas is the place of crime." Wii Fit noted. "So?! Who cares?! Now I'm going to Las Vegas wheter you fuckers like it or not!" Ike left the room. "Yeah...he's my lover and I kinda need to be with him at all times soooooo...yeah.." Peach said, following Ike.

"Wait for us!" Link and Marth said dashing out like fools

Zelda sighed. "Well this is gonna end in catastrophe like it always does, so we might as well follow em."

"Agreed." Samus said. Zelda and Samus left. Wii Fit got up and walked besides Pit, "Uh, are you gonna come or not?" She asked softly. Outta the whole group she was the kind hearted one of the group. Well, coming second place to Pit.

"I'm gonna sit this one out, I don't wanna get gangbanged by some thugs..." Pit mumbled.

"The only person that may try and throw their hands down your pants is Samus!" Wii Fit said chuckling. "And besides, you'll miss out on all the fun, and Samus is gonna be all alone." She mentioned.

"But, you've been alone all your life and your just fine." Pit said, happily.

Wii Fit immediately got flustered, "Uh- That's no- just come on!" She said, grabbing Pit by the wing and dragging him out the room.

"Ow! Ow! Watch the wings!"

 **"Did you know that? There was a prototype of this story that had a completely different plotline."**

 **Samus: "I didn't like that plot."**

 **Pit: "Neither did I."**

 **"Heh, me either. Mainly, because the story couldn't stay focused on one thing."**

 **Wii Fit: "And it was weird."**

 **Peach: "And self-centered."**

 **"Okay I get i-"**

 **Ike: "It was also pointless."**

 **Link: "Messy."**

 **Marth: "All over the place."**

 **"ALL RIGHT I GET IT!"**


	2. Don't be bitchy about it Pt1

You **can skip this intro if you wanna, but real talk, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get these chapters out as soon as I actually want them to be out. I wanted this series to have a chapter each day, but the last time I actually updated this piece of steamy garbage was over a month ago. I'm so sorry that I can't produce these things faster, but you gotta remember, I have a personal life as well, and I often tend to get busy, like most of you do as well. So, lemme just cut this short. I'll try and make more stories and chapters to all your favorite stories on here! And, of course, I will step away from stories like Smash Bros every so often, cause I don't want you guys to think I'm a one trick pony, or whatever. So, yeah. PM me if you have a request for a story and I guess that's it. So, enjoy!**

 **PS: Sorry there was no skit for the intro this time...**

* * *

Our group of smasher were making their way downstairs, and they were greeted with the sight of all of smashers were down there as well. This just pissed off Ike, as he didn't enjoy people...like, at all. Well, besides Peach.

But, this sight just made Pit fulled to the brim with joy. Finally, all the smashers together in one place was the perfect opportunity to make some new friends. While Samus, Wii Fit, and Zelda on the other hand were still wondering what the fuck was going on.

Though, this thought didn't really remain in their heads for too long, once Master Hand came on the mic. He had to settle everyone down, as chatter was filling the room. But, once he did, everyone went quiet.

"Good Morning, everyone!" He said, with glee. He would smile if he could. "As you all heard, I am taking a trip to Las Vegas, and I am taking 8 lucky smashers with me!" He told, causing the smashers to cheer wildly. Well, everyone cheered, aside from people like Ike and Samus.

"Settle down, now..." Master Hand spoke, and everyone soon did so. "The eight lucky peopls that will be joining me in Las Vegas next week, are..."

"Ike...Marth...Link...Wii Fit Trainer...Samus...Zelda...Peach...and...Olimar!" He told. Immediately everyone who wasn't chosen sighed. Pit was devasted. He went almost everywhere with his friends. But, he still tried and kept a smile. As long as his peers were happy, so was he.

Samus looked down at him. She then bent down and hugged him, an whispered in his ear. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart..." She would only ever call Pit these kinda names in private. That would explain Samus whispering. "I guess...better luck next time...? Look...what can I say to make you feel better?" She asked.

"That you'll at least bring me something back?" He requested. "Sure thing..,but, at least you'll be able to catch up with that goddess of yo-" "Wait a second!" Master Hand said. "There has been a mishap! Sincerely Sorry, Mr. Olimar. You will not be joining us in Las Vegas..." He told, causing Olimar to pout.

"The person that will be taking his spot will be...Pit T. Angel!" He told. Nobody was really excited. Well, nobody besides Samus. The room then filled with chatter, as people were complaining to each other. Link looked over at Pit and Samus hugging. "Um, I hate to ruin the moment, but we gotta go. Before we get man handled by DK, or reverse warlock punched by Ganon." Link suggested.

"So, come on! Move your asses!" Ike told, as he began to run upstairs. Peach was right behind him, while Wii Fit was weirdly close to Marth. Link carried Zelda bridal style, while they talked softly to each other. Pit and Samus were holding hands. The rest of the smashers didn't even notice they had left.

* * *

The group then made their way to their lounge. Link plopped Zelda onto the floor. And he sat next to her. Ike dove into a beanbag chair, Peach soon after diving into his lap. Wii Fit then laid down on a yoga mat, that had been in the room due to her likeliness. Marth then sat down in front of the TV, and turned it on, along with his PS4. Pit and Samus sat in beanbag chairs that were butted up against each other. "So, what's the plan?" Marth asked.

He was clearly asking Ike, since he was the leader of this little group. Well, that's only kinda true. Him and Samus usually fight over who's leader from time to time. So, at the moment its just a democracy. "We pack our bags and get ready for the best time of our fucking lives!" Ike told.

"Its still risky as shit...what if something happens? Doesn't it seem weird that conveniently 8 spots were open? And MH specifically chose all eight of us?" Samus was actually worried for once. Pit noticed this and thought it was weird. "I mean, she has a point." Pit then backed her up.

"Fine, if you too don't wanna enjoy Vegas with the rest of us, you can just stay here. And, you can have someone else take your spots." Ike told them. "But, I guess you two will just miss out. I knew ever since you made that angel of yours your boyfriend, you became much more of a pussy." Ike smired.

This made Samus pissed off. She was a lot of things, but a pussy was not one of them. "Like hell I'm a pussy! I'll go to Vegas and prove to you that I'm not a whiney little bitch!" She challenged. Samus never needed anyone's approval usually. But, this is one of the times her anger gets the best of her.

"Alright." Ike's smirk became wider. "Shouldn't we begin to get our stuff packed up?" Zelda suggested, tugging on Link's tunic to get his attention. He was playing a shooter game with Marth. "Um...yeah...yeah.." He was trying not to get killed. Zelda knew he wasn't paying attention though.

"Zelda's got a point." Wii Fit said. She was doing sit ups. Marth died in the game a few minutes ago, so he was watching Wii Fit in awe. But, she didn't notice. "We might as well get packing done as soon as we can." She added. "Eh...we should probably do it as late as we can. Probably as late as two days before we leave." Peach suggested.

Samus, Ike, Wii Fit, and Zelda gave Peach a look. Marth didn't because he was focused on Wii Fit's abs. Link was focused on the game. And, Pit was on his 3DS. "What the fuck? Why?!" Samus asked, furrowing her brows. "What if this trip to Vegas turns out not happening? Then, we would've done all the packing for nothing!" She told.

"Huh...she does have a point as well..." Wii Fit added. "Well, it looks like we might have to take a vote..." Zelda suggested, causing Ike to groan with displeasure. "Fuck that...voting isn't gonna do shit." He crossed his arms and looked away. "All in favor of packing now, Raise your left arm." Zelda said anyways. Samus, Wii Fit, Zelda and Pit raised their hands. Only, because Samus forced his arm to do so.

"1...2...3..4..." Zelda counted. Ike then groaned once again. "Come the fuck on! This voting ain't gonna do shi-" Ike was cut off, as Master Hand soon came on the intercom. "Would all the smashers that were chosen for the trip please report to the main lobby immediately? Thank you." He ended.

"Now we gotta deal with this shit...great...just fucking great..." Ike grunted. But, Peach soon rubbed his chest, and cuddled into him. "Shhhhh...its gonna be fine..." She cooed. She then kissed his cheek, leaving him to expect one of the lips.

"Anyways, let's just head downstairs and see what Master Hand wants shall we?" Marth suggested. "Agreed." The ladies said in unison. The guys agreed to it as well after a bit, and they all left the lounge.

* * *

 **Welp, that's chapter 2 for ya. I have a feeling this was kinda sloppy. And, so you don't have to wait, chapter 3 is being made as soon as this one gets published! So, always keep that a new chapter is currently being made! Anyways, see ya later!**


	3. Don't be bitchy about it Pt2

**Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, Young Link, Ice Climbers, Luma, Diddy Kong, Pichu, Kirby, and Olimar were all gathered around me. I held a book in my hands, as I smiled widely.**

 **"Sooo...who wants to hear about the story of a swell guy named Daddy Sakurai?" I asked, causing them all to raise their hands. "Good...good.." I opened the book, and began.**

 **"Daddy Sakurai, or as some people called him Daddy 'fucking' Sakurai, was a great man. He gave to us what no other man could. The Smash Brothers Series! He gave us all great classics like The First Smash, Melee, For Wii U/3DS, And just announced Smash Bros Ultimate! And...Brawl I guess as well..."**

 **They soon became excited, as I was explaining the story of smash bros. But, since I can't make this skit to fucking long... "Long story short, All the characters every in smash bros are included in Smash Bros Ultimate, Ridley was big as shit, but now he's like Charizard, Daisy's here too, Inklings as well, and Samus's boobs and Snake's ass cheeks are smaller."**

 **I slammed the book shut. "Done. Now, go to bed." Soon, Snake and Samus bursted threw the wall. But, before they could wipe the floors with me, Little Mac slammed the door open, and beat the shit out of everyone. "DIE MOTHAFUCKAS!" He yelled while doing so.**

 **Once everyone was knocked out, "Oh shit! I better get outta here before the FBI comes to investigate!" He then ran threw the wall that Snake and Samus had busted open.**

 **But, mere moments afterwards, Ike, Pit, Peach, Wii Fit, Link, and Marth came into the room. They were dumbfounded on what just happened. "Ummmm...what?" Zelda went. "What the fuck happened in here...?" Ike looked around. "Look...we don't have time for this! We gotta a show to put on." Peach said.**

 **"Oh, your right!" Wii Fit then points to you. "Enjoy!" She said smiling.**

* * *

Our gang made their way back downstairs. It was rather empty. Only, with the few exceptions of Ridley, Daisy, and a inkling girl in the main lobby. Samus gave Ridley a death stare, though he just tried to look innocent. Samus just shook her head, looking off.

The group then went into Master Hand's office. They all took a seat in the conveniently eight chairs place in a row in front of Master Hand's desk.

"So, what did you call us here for?" Ike asked with his arms crossed. "As you are all aware, I previously stated that the trip to Las Vegas was going to happen next week." Master Hand reminded them.

"Yeah...what about it..?" Samus asked, her arms being crossed as well. Master Hand then made a hand pose, as if he was putting his hand on his nonexistence chin. "We are actually going to Vegas tomorrow!" He told.

Ike grinned widely. Link deviously smiled, while rubbing his hands together. Peach smiled slightly, while Zelda sighed right along with Samus. Marth immediately thought about the hot chicks he would pick up there, while Pit was still on his DS.

"So, I advise you all to get your stuff packed, as we will be leaving first thing tomorrow!" Master Hand told. "Great...just fucking great.." Zelda spoke quietly. "So, if there are no futher questions, you may all be dismissed." Master Hand excused them.

They all soon left his office. Everyone in the group was talking to each other, except for Pit. He was too busy capturing Pokèmon, which caused him to fall behind.

The gang soon went on to the lounge without Pit. Samus thought Pit was still behind her, and he was just keeping quiet. But, this gave the Inkling Girl the perfect opportunity to make her move.

While Ridley and Daisy weren't looking she seductively walked towards Pit, her hips swaying which each step she took. And, for a supposed 'kid' she was thick as hell.

And, Pit didn't quite notice this. That was once she got close enough, she slightly tapped Pit on his head, she was weirdly taller then him. He then lowered his DS. "Oh, Hi!" He smiled, and backed up a little as she was a little too close.

"Hiiii..." She waved at him. "Is there anything you wanted?" Pit asked, tilting his head slightly. "Oh nothing...its just that...a poor little inkling like me has always dreamed of going to Vegas..." She spoke softly.

"Well...what would you want me too do about it..?" Pit raised a brow. "I just wanted to take your spot in going to Las Vegas..." She requested.

"Oh...um..." Pit wanted to be as nice as his heart allowed him to be. But, Samus was the love of his life, he could never leave her. But, before Pit had time to react, the Inkling Girl pinned him against a wall.

"Aww...come on...I'll make it worth your while..." She got a little closer. But, once again, before Pit had time to react, Daisy turned around. "Hey! We need your help! Get back over here!" She said.

The Inkling girl pouted, but she walked back. And, as she did, she blew a kiss at Pit. He was wondering what just happened. But, he just dashed back to the lounge.

And, then he walked in on Samus and Ike fighting. They were yelling at each other about something. "There you are, Pit. Where were you?" Wii Fit asked him.

He didn't answer the question though. "What are they fighting about..?" Pit asked instead. "They've been at it for a minute now...their fighting about whether or not we should go to Vegas." Peach told him.

But, Pit just walked up to Samus and hugged her. "Come on...there's no point in fighting." He told. Samus then looked down at him, giving him a death stare of some sort.

Pit just gave her an adorable look, causing her anger to immediately melt away. "Ugh..fine...I guess were going to Vegas..." Samus looked off, crossing her arms.

"Good! Now, let's get to packing!" Wii Fit smiled a little. Even though she wasn't fully on board with the idea of Vegas.

* * *

 _ **About A Day Later...**_

A plane was outside, while the group was getting transported inside of it. Pit and Marth had one white tuxedos, while Ike and Marth wore black ones.

Samus reluctantly wore a dark blue dress. Wii Fit wore a light blue one, while Zelda and Peach still wore the same clothing as before.

Each couple had a room designed to their likeliness. And, oddly Wii Fit and Marth had to share a room. Everyone was bedazzled by how the room look.

They had been a King Sized Bed in each room, 2 flat screen TV's for each room, 2 tabets of some sort on the bed, and a whole lot of delicious cuisines to order from. Oh, and there was also a bathroom in each room.

Of course, the first thing Pit did was jump into the bed and bounce around like a child. Samus was confused, but at the same time impressed. A little. But, she did wonder why Master Hand was pampering them.

When Ike and **"** Peach got to their rooms, Ike turned on the TV once he found the remote. And, he turned it onto some anime. Peach just picked up the tablet that had been lying on the bed, and randomly took pictures.

Link and Zelda just laid in bed, and cuddled. They would always do this whenever nobody was around, and then cuddling would lead to Link going to town on Zelda.

Lastly, Wii Fit and Marth were acting awkward towards each other. They tried not to interact with each other, but that would be damn near impossible, since they were in a confined space, so, Wii Fit just tried to make small talk.

"Sooo..how's life?" Wii Fit asked. "Come on, cut the shit...we both know we like each other." Marth chose to be direct. "Yeah! We like everyone, right?" Wii Fit sweated a little.

"Come on, don't play dumb..you know what kinda like I mean." Marth spoke softly, causing Wii Fit too blush a small bit. He then got up from his side of the room and slowly walked over to hers.

"We're not kids anymore..we don't have to be scared or shy anymore..." Marth said, and soon brought her in for a kiss.

But, before their lips could touch, the ground shook, causing them both too fall on their asses. "Whoa! What was that?!" Marth questioned. "The plane will now be taking off. Everyone get cozy cause this is a no-stop trip to Las Vegas!" Master Hand said over the intercom.

"Huh...well that's one way too ruin the moment.." Wii Fit pouted, but Marth held her chin up. "Eh, it doesn't matter. Wanna sit next too the window and cuddle?" Marth suggested.

"Of course!" Wii Fit said softly. And they got up, and did exactly so.

* * *

 **"Hey everyone, it's your favorite autistic, two faced, failed abortion! Back here once again with an outro!" I say. "Jeez man, don't bash on yourself. At least let Ike do that.." Pit mumbled.**

 **"Yeah, you two faced motherfucker!" Ike shouted. "Everyone just shut up, and let me think of an outro..man, these things are hard..."**

 **"Look, just go and check out my other stories, I'll update them as soon as I can, along with these one. I'm sorry I have just been extremely lazy..." I say.**

 **"Laziness is not an answer!" A voice spoke.**

 **"Whoa, who the fuck said that?!" Marth spoke. Then, all of the newcomers that were revealed in the Smash Direct jump from the shadows.**

 **"Chrom?!" Marth and Ike said. "Hold up, who is this bitch?!" Samus pointed at Dark Samus. "OH MY GAWD KING K. ROOL! MY WAIFU!" I ran up too him, and hugged him. But, he bitch slapped me like he did Dedede.**

 **"Alright! Be sure too tune into the next chapter, we got some business too take care of.." Samus said. "Buh-Bye!"**


End file.
